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Juno Quotes

Juno recently won an Oscar for the Best Original Screenplay. I guess, they really deserved that award because what makes the movie fun is the conversations made by the characters.

To sum it up, here are some of my favorite quotes from that movie:

Juno: It started with a chair…

Rollo: You better pay for that pee-stick when you’re done with it. Don’t think it’s yours just because you marked it with your urine!

Juno: I’m pregnant.

Leah: What? Honest to blog?

Juno: Yeah. It’s Bleeker’s.

Leah: It’s probably just a food baby. Did you have a big lunch?

Juno: This is not a food baby all right? I’ve taken like three pregnancy tests, and I’m forshizz up the spout.

Leah: How did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests?

Mac MacGuff: Next time I see that Bleeker kid I’m going to punch him in the wiener.

Mac MacGuff: Thanks for having me and my irresponsible daughter over to your house.

Juno: If I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would, but I’m guessing it looks probably like a sea-monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.

Juno: You shoulda gone to China. You know, ’cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.

Mac MacGuff: Hey big-puffy-version-of-Junebug.

Vanessa: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.

Juno: Nah. I mean I’m already pregnant so what other kind of shenanigans can I get into?

Leah: Woah check out baby big head. That thing is freaky looking.

Juno: Excuse me? I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you’ve got in your stomach is Taco Bell.

Juno: Well, you know, I was thinking I’d just nip it in the bud, before it gets worse, because they were talking about it in health class, how pregnancy, it can often lead to… an infant.

Juno: Yeah, I’m a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale.

Mac MacGuff: Look, in my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.

Girl: Here, have a condom. They’re boysenberry.

Juno: I’m actually off sex right now, thanks.

Girl: My boyfriend wears them every time we have intercourse. They make his junk smell like pie.

Juno: It ended with a chair.


If you have nothing much to do, watch this movie with your teenage kids so that they’ll know what they are getting into when they engage in premarital sex.

By the way, do you think, Ellen Page (Juno) is related to Larry Page of Google? 🙂

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Marhgil Macuha

Marhgil Macuha is a Computer Engineering graduate of Batangas State University. He is currently a Senior Solutions Developer at a Canadian IT company.

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